One Mother's Reality

Comments: 26

Will Evans Mar 31, 2006, 5:22am UTC

This is breaking my heart.

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Wendy Hanawalt Mar 31, 2006, 8:33am UTC

I don't know what it is, but this seems to touch something I know. It is very, very powerful.

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0000-twobraincells-0000 Mar 31, 2006, 8:36am UTC

Alcoholism, drug addiction do not 'negate' behavior. I hope he gets treatment. I hope you find the peace that comes when he finds peace.

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Cat Givens Mar 31, 2006, 8:53am UTC

My beautiful son has been out of the in-house incarceration and treatment for two days.... He got out Wednesday 8 AM and was angry with me for refusing to buy him beer. He later apologized. He works 3 to 11 PM, and I just had that instinct something was wrong and so slept fitfully last night, not surprised at all when the phone rang. It was my daughter crying. I hopped in my car and managed to get him. He's upstairs asleep. I can only hope the knowledge of what he did whilst he was out of it will cause him to stop.
He still is in out treatment and must be tested, but coke is out of the system in three days. If he violates probation (2 years worth) he'll go to prison for up to six years. My heart is broken. My god, my son, my beautiful son.

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jessie voigts Mar 31, 2006, 9:36am UTC

oh cathy, i am so sorry. hope that he can fight this addiction somehow, and bring calm to all your lives. i am thinking of you!

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Cat Givens Mar 31, 2006, 9:44am UTC

thanks,Jessie......... and bless you all. My son will have to do this on his own, It's frustrating I cannot just crawl into his skin and do it for him. But this is his path to walk.

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Barbara Brink Mar 31, 2006, 10:11am UTC

I'm sorry for your troubles. I hope he gets the help he needs. I have a 21 year old and it's a definite struggle to let go and let him take responsibility for his own life, but I guess that's what it takes. It's just so painful to watch.

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Cat Givens Mar 31, 2006, 10:24am UTC

You speak the truth, Barbara

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Cat Givens Mar 31, 2006, 11:56am UTC

He is awake now and really shocked at his behavior last night, and is amazed he had a psychotic episode triggered by the alcohol and coke. He told another one of his sisters and me that he won't be doing that ever again. I appreciate so much all your support.

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mona d. Mar 31, 2006, 1:59pm UTC

oh cathy, my heart goes out to you. i hope he can find strength and peace. you, too.

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Alice C. Mar 31, 2006, 6:05pm UTC

I thank God everyday that my son is in prison and finally clean and sober. It took prison to get him clean, I pray that yours has a better ending without the added grief to you...Smiles to guide you and prayers to soothe you...

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Tom J Mar 31, 2006, 6:31pm UTC

My heart goes out to you.

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Cat Givens Mar 31, 2006, 6:31pm UTC

Wow, Alice. I don't know what to say, Honey.
Thanks to you and Mona.

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Cat Givens Mar 31, 2006, 7:35pm UTC

Thanks Tom and everyone....
Candida, I am so very sorry you know this road..... I do too, but hoped it would not come to lure my son. He surely knows the pain of losing loved ones to this. But I guess not.

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Clare Stella Mar 31, 2006, 8:08pm UTC

Blessings to you. I hope your son gets better.

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Faith H. Mar 31, 2006, 8:10pm UTC

{{{{{Cathy}}}}} and to your son, big hugs too.

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Linda Douglas Mar 31, 2006, 9:37pm UTC

Cathy, as a substance abuse counselor I see so much of this every day and know of the toll it takes on the family. The guilt and the shame of his actions are what get him back out there again. If he has to go to jail there may be a drug block that he can get on to get additional counseling. Some places have alternative sentencing programs. He may already have been that route. Sometimes jail is the best place for them to turn their lives around. At least you will know where he is. I have so many questions - has he been evaluated by a psychiatrist for a possible mental disorder that has gone unmedicated?

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Carol Voigts Mar 31, 2006, 11:36pm UTC

Cathy, I know the grief you are going through. I'm sure every mother understands. So many young adults never understand how their parents ache in every cell of their bodies over the child they love so dearly is trying to grow up and so painfully too. Blessings to you.

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lisa marchal Mar 31, 2006, 11:53pm UTC

Cathy,

You have made me cry. I am so sorry you are going through this. The drug gets into their bodies and turns them into someone else. It is so hard to stop.. even hurting the ones you love or putting yourself at risk is not enough sometimes. You are a wonderful mother, you are there to love him and teach him. It is so hard to see someone you love be pulled in to this. I will pray for him and for you. You tell him where my husband is.. you let him know.. that it can be a reality for him. Sometimes hearing someone elses story helps to hit home. You be strong.. it is not your son who is doing this.. it is the drugs.. he loves you very much. I will be thinking of you.. big hugs ... lisa

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Kathryn Flynn Apr 1, 2006, 5:16am UTC

Cathy, I'm so sorry it took so long to find this story of yours. I am so sorry you are going through this. The fact that he recognizes his actions and does not want it to happen again, is a good thing. My son is about to be released from 'high school' into the world...He's not as prepared a person in life as is his sister. I hope he doesn't have hard knocks in life. It is such a painful worry, this raising of children....My heart to yours.

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Cat Givens Apr 1, 2006, 7:24am UTC

Oh, my darling Gather friends. You are more precious than fine gold and jewels.

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Serina Matteson Apr 1, 2006, 11:43am UTC

Cathy, I had to take a minute and wipe away the tears before I could comment. This was so poweful. My heart is still crying for you and your son. I've also been down the path with drug and alcohol addiction too many times. And now I watch my 18 and 19 year old go out into the world wiser about its destruction but still so vulnerable to it. There are more studies every day that narrow this illness down to a chemical in the brain. With prayer maybe one day there will be a magical drug to fight this pull on a person's soul. You will both be in my prayers.

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Nathan Schauer Apr 1, 2006, 2:37pm UTC

This just pierces the page and I feel it. The success of this work is impressive also because this is a current experience you are having. You kept enough distance but allowed enough of the moment to come into the poem. It takes my breath away because I have two sons. I will think of you in my meditation Cathy - I still practice a form of tibetian meditation where one visualizes loving kindness to all the mother beings in the world. You will be first in my thoughts.

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Magi the magical poet is flowing with the wind Apr 5, 2006, 7:11am UTC

I understand the nightmare. I have three children - two were addicted to heron and you name it. In the process of standing by them and helping them out of hell (and they're both now clean) it all but destroyed my health. In the long journey back out of the black abyss with them, I met many other junkies - many dead before the age of 21.

I also met many parents, all but out of their minds with the horror of it all. Few knew how to cope.

But there is hope and light at the end of the tunnel - and I don't mean another train coming down the tunnel to run you down. Don't give up, and don't withdraw from the world. That's just going deeper into hell - a dreadful place that I had cause to visit many times.

Lots of love,

Magi

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One Mother's Reality

Comments: 26

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