MOTHER GOOSE MEETS MOTHER EARTH scene 5 The Humpty Dumpty Disaster

This is the fifth part of a children's play I wrote back in the 70's.  It has been performed at various times in the past 30 years and I would welcome any teacher or children's theater director using it.  Please be so kind as to let me know if you do choose to use it

The Humpty Dumpty Disaster

Characters: reporter, king's horse, King's man, King's wizard

Reporter:(To audience) Good afternoon! I'm Stiran Mumble, reporting for Nursery News. I'm on the scene of a terrible accident. Humpty Dumpty has had a great fall. Let's see if we can find out what happened.

(to horse) May I have a word with you? What happened?

King's Horse: When I came here with the other king's horses, there was poor Humpty Dumpty, cracking up on the floor.

Reporter: What will happen to Humpty Dumpty now?

King's horse: I say pitch him. I mean what are you going to do with a broken egg anyway? Watch him spoil?

Horse walks back to scene

Reporter: Well, folks , there you have it, straight from the horse's mouth. Let's see if we can get a more detailed report of this tragedy.

(to king's man):

King's Man: Yah, sure.

Reporter: What can you tell us about the "Dumpty Disaster?"

King's Man: As far as we know, there are no witnesses to the accident, but if you ask me, I think he was pushed. He didn't have a lot of friends, you know.

Reporter: PUSHED?!

King's Man: Shhh! Quiet! It's just a rumor, but I think he was pushed by Chicken Little.

Reporter: Pushed by Chicken Little? Why?

King's Man: Well, Humpty Dumpty laughed at Chicken Little when the sky didn't fall. I think Chicken Little in turn gave Humpty Dumpty the old heave ho.

Reporter: This is unbelievable! What do you think will become of Humpty Dumpty?

King's Man: By the looks of things, there isn't much hope. I think we'll have to trash him! (leaves)

Reporter: You heard it, folks. Another amazing yet sad twist of the truth. It looks like Humpty Dumpty's wise crack, put the yolk on him.

King's Men and Horses: Look! Here comes the king's recycling wizard!

Reporter: Say, King's recycling wizards? Is there any hope here for Humpty Dumpty?

King's Wizard: Well…….yes and no.

Reporter: What do you mean? Is there hope or isn't there?

King's Wizard: Well, no, there's no hope for Humpty Dumpty to become an egg once again. But I hate to see a good egg go to waste.

Reporter: What will you do?

King's Wizard: Well, since he's running all over the ground, how about some nice scrambled eggs?

(walks over to Humpty)

Eye of cow, and frog legs, you well become scrambled eggs!

(POOFFFFF!!!)

Whoops! Well, I came close! How about Eggs Benedict? Just call him Ben for short!

Everyone in unison:

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the King's horses

And all the King's men,

Had eggs for breakfast that were called "Ben"!

Let's eat!