my sister-in-law's father just had ankle fusion surgery, and is home, recovering. it is pretty difficult to do this - it is so tiresome to lie there, not being able to move much, and to be in pain. it makes you grumpy, and to have to have people wait on you makes you feel even more disabled. here's my top ten list for him, of things to do while recuperating from ankle fusion surgery (i've had it done twice).
10) learn to crochet. crochet king-size afghans for every single person you're related to. then move to their relatives.
9) watch some heinous talk shows on tv. the sleazier, the better. write down the descriptions used for people that appear on this show ("sleeping with your bisexual girlfriend's mom" "bodybuilding gramma," " love behind bars") - well, you get the picture. write these up in a book, commenting on contemporary culture. by the time you get booked onto the talk shows to promote your book, your ankle will be healed.
8) build very long reacher things with straws and duct tape. try to knock things down and pick them back up. personal best - a magazine, 4 feet away, with two straw/duct tape reachers.
7) read every book in the library. then start to work the ILL system.
6) make potholders with those loopy cotton things, and the square grids. great christmas presents!
5) learn to paint. use your fingers, put the brush in your mouth, anything to amuse yourself. if you don't have much talent here (as i do not), the results are even funnier. test on your cast.
4) become a chronicler of the mundane. when someone gets home from work, try to work this into conversation, "there are 47 leaves on the african violet plant," or "178 birds came to the feeder today."
3) buy everything on ebay. negative aspect: getting up to answer the doorbell, when the postal carrier drops off all your packages every day. note to self: difficult to maneuver crutches around packages.
2) listen to all 3,000 cds in your collection. clean them. count the scratches. alphabetize your collection.
1) count the holes in each ceiling tile. last count in the upper right quadrant: 873.
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12. Buy a bell so that you can torment family members.
13. Make a list of people you can't stand and think of appropriate miserable things that could happen to them.
14. Or conversely, count your blessings. Think of all the good people in your life and plan things you can do for them when you are up and about again.
15. If toe nails are visible, have someone paint them each a different color.
I'm sending pain-free recovery vibes....now!
ok here's the thing with the bell. it only works a few times. trust me, i know!! haha....oh clare, i can't take pain meds, but i am sure he can. lucky him!! tv gets old after a bit. you just long to be out on your windsurfer, or something!
thanks all for the additional suggestions! we're a hoot!
Get a computer for the man and point out how to navigate through Gather. I lose track of the hours faster than anything when I'm here!
Nice, funny post Jessie.
well, i did read proust, but not the fountainhead. i hope he comes to gather! thanks!
nathan - really? that is so great! i learned from my gramma. i stick with huge old granny squares. works for me....
ron - too funny! i don't recommend ber + crutches though!