tep-id adj.
1. Moderately warm; lukewarm.
2. Lacking in emotional warmth or enthusiasm; halfhearted
Going with the second meaning of the word tepid - I can definitely say it was not a tepid judgment to seriously reconsider my time and actions on Gather. Devi Titus, a women's ministry leader, once gave an analogy between things in our life and a revolving restaurant. She said if you have ever been in one of these revolving restaurants, you don't really feel the movement. You sit and enjoy your meal, laugh, and have fun, and you never even realize that you are moving until all the sudden you look up and the scenery has changed. The changes are so minute you do not even feel them along the way. But then all the sudden, everything looks different, and you wonder, "How did I ever get here?"
Well, that is a bit of how it has been for me with Gather. I came here at the end of November of 2005 never expecting much. Then I started quickly moving up in the ranks. Gather was small and it did not take long to become number one and totally let it go to my head. Sure, I tried to stay humble, but I was so excited - nothing like this has ever happened to me. I have never had such praise and recognition in my life, and it felt really good. I began to stray from my normal writing to write what would keep me in the rankings or bring me lots of comments. I learned the art of networking and taught others too.
I spent most of my waking hours here at Gather. It became my escape from the world. My excuse was that it was to help me be a better writer. All it was, though, was an excuse. It was an escape from reality and life and commitment and responsibility and my husband and even my novel. Sometimes we need to escape. It was fun while it lasted.
Now it is time to be real. Now it is time to face my commitments and responsibilities (Bonnie L and a few that read Life Lessons in Song Lyrics will understand this quote: "No time for losers 'Cause we are the champions - of the world" - Queen). Now is the time to remember I have a husband that needs me, who loves me and my writing, but not my Gather addiction.
I have made changes, I have stepped back and felt the freedom of not feeling obligated to read and reply to everything on Gather. I have streamlined what comes to my e-mail box. I will still post, read and comment on Gather, but it will not take over my life anymore. I will not write for ratings. I will write for my passion and remember who I am while I am on Gather.
I treasure the friends I have found at Gather. To all of you friends, please be patient and understand that I may not read and respond to everything you write anymore. If you have something that you would truly value my comment and I have not commented, feel free to send me a message inviting me to come read it. If you do not have time to comment on my works here, I understand completely!
I know that in time someone will replace me on the list as the all time #1 read author on Gather. I am sure that time is quickly approaching! There is so much talent here! My having made it there is half a mark of talent and half a mark of ingenuity. I am very proud of my accomplishments at Gather, but I do realize now that they came at a high cost and the scenery is now changed from when I started. I have a lot of work to fix that scenery again.
I pray that for those vying for top spots in rankings, you will still be pleased with the scenery when you get to the top. Take a lesson from me and make sure to take a few moments to check out the scenery along the way in case you need to change directions.
Thank you all for everything you have given me over these past months! God bless you!
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Comments: 18
The praise of strangers is a heady thing and not to be taken lightly. It adds to our confidence and hopefully to our desire to please in our work. But when it inhibits our creativity by concerning us more with gather points or gather esteem, then yes indeed, a giant step backwards is what's required.
I am so proud of you for posting this. It took guts for sure.
Gather is wonderful and I love meeting the talented souls who post here (psst, I'm going to marry Wilhelmine when i grow up, just don't say anything just yet.. cause I may change my mind and marry Kathryn afterall..) but it has to remain a hobby for those of us not on the payroll, not an obsession.
I look forward to reading whatever you do decide to post.. and of course I'm waiting for more chapters to pedantic pants you with!! Love you so much. Your daffy mate.
Love ya!
You've just had the guts to come out and remind us all how easily we can get caught up in in one aspect of our life to the possible detriment of other aspects. I've certainly been there and I'm sure many others on Gather are or have been there. Thanks for speaking out.
Lots of love, Aunt Judy
And you were reading my mind you know. After being here for only a relatively short time I've found myself getting concerned about the same kind of isues - but on a much smaller scale. And I've wondered about how people make time for so much writing and reading in addition to their regular lives.
Back and forth I've dithered - Should I assign a particluar amount of time or some time on a couple of days, or just how can I manage it?
The "making art" part of my life is often a time when the creative part of my brain just goes on autopilot & does it's thing without a lot of conscious decision making. So the other part gets to enjoy some "wondering and pondering" time - some being about what part Gather is meant to play in my life.
It's beneficial for me to interact with people who are NOT artists and are not involved in any of my projects - and that's why this appealed to me going into it. I like the variety of "real people" so much.
But there's also no denying that there's been a huge jump in how many more people were registering for my artistamp freebies list, and subscribing to my blog since I started publishing here. Add the increase in downloads of stamp sheets and orders for prints and such and it's really gratifying.
So the conclusion I've come to is that while it's something I want to continue to do as part of an overall plan, I just can't write something multiple times each day.
I'm just not a "short takes" person - well - except for the monkeymail thing on "tepid judgement" which was a cheap version of actual writing.
So I'll aim for adding content a couple of times a week, and when I can, I'll read and comment. And I WILL be looking for things from you when I'm wandering and reading. You must know how admired you are, and that many people are wishing you all the best things.
Kathryn - It took me a long time to come to where I am now, give up the stubbornness and admit I was not right and needed to make changes. It may be the same for you, or maybe your level of Gathering works fine in your life. It is different for each person and what works for me may not work for you. I will still read and write and comment - just on a much smaller scale. People like you are ones I will try to catch when I can, and like I said, if you ever have something you really want me to read and give feedback on, never feel like you cannot ask me. I will do what I can! You are a great writer and I will remember that you do value my comments.
Sheryl - I would like to say I really do value your comments! Please know I am not saying Gather is a bad place - otherwise I would leave! It can get out of control though, and that is my warning, from my experience. I look forward to seeing comments from you and will be making comments as well - just at a slower pace! I plan on making a schedule for myself to keep on track with my responsibilities, and then in my free time I can play at Gather. Hubby has been very patient, but also part of the process to realize what an addiction Gather had become! Hats off to him for being patient indeed!
Hannah - You will get a copy of the book when it is published! You do the same for me! I will be on here still and will still comment and read you - so I won't be gone, just not as active! Thanks for all of your support, friendship, humor, and just being you!
Jerry - You are welcome! Yes, it is true that this can happen with a lot of things, not just Gather! Keeping perspective in our lives is so important! Thanks for commenting!
Aunt Judy - Thanks for all of your support! One thing that Gather has done is bring you closer to me! I value that and appreciate each and every comment you have given me and how you have supported me along the way. Thank you for your prayers. God has given me the gift of writing and I need to use it wisely. That is what I will be doing in the future. Love you!
Stephen - thank you! I feel a special connection with you, us both being bipolar. I know you understand about needing an escape and using writing/Gather as an escape. It is not always a bad thing, and I am sure that there will be times that it will still be an escape for me. Please know I will still be looking for you on Gather, still reading you when I can, and if you ever need me, just send a message. You are a very special man, with a wonderful heart, a creative mind and a very talented writer. Never forget that!
Aniko - well, it is nice to know my absence was noticed, but I am glad to say it was only because I am limiting my Gather time! I would say that there may be some weeks like this past one, and others where I am much more active. It will be within a schedule though. Gather within reason is a wonderful thing! I still love Gather!
Susan - Sounds like you have the right idea! Especially since this is helping you in your business! If and when Gather is actually helping me in my writing career professionally, I will devote more time than I will be now, but for now, it will be much like you - a few pieces a week at most and when I can I will read and comment. Wise women think alike, eh?
Thanks Monica, for sharing your feelings and helping me to make the same decision... even though you weren't trying to. I was looking for a sign.
I will mostly check in on Gather at work. I promised hubby I was all his during the weekends and weeknights!
HUGS GATHER FRIENDS!!!!
BTW...the other day I finally decided to turn on the stereo and do some serious housecleaning. Guess what the second song that came on the radio was? NO JOKE!!! I swear..."We are the Champions"!!! I was so blown away that if I had your phone number I would have called so you could hear it!
I still think you are one of the best writers here...don't stop following your passion girlfriend!!!
Carl - see ya friend! Thanks!
Beryl - thanks for being a friend and always being on top with me - even when I disappear! You are awesome and I am blessed to have you in my life!
Pam - it is good that we are focusing more on our lives and less here - not necessarily easy, but good! Glad I could help! You help me too!
Serina - You are such a special lady! I always look forward to your comments! Do your best and be happy! That is what matters! Keep in touch!
Bonnie - That is too funny! THings are not going so smoothly - it is easy to replace one bad distracting habit with another lol! But I am trying and things are moving forward. Slowly. You honor me so with your comment, and I am so glad to have eveloped a friendship with you. You are a great writer too and I look forward to reading and writing with you in the future!
Hugs all!