Faulty Intelligence, a humorous take

This was sent to me from a friend, and I did not write this.
I wish I knew who did, so here we have another gem by
A. Nonymous
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CHENEY SAYS SHOOTING OF FELLOW HUNTER WAS BASED ON FAULTY INTELLIGENCE
Believed Shooting Victim Was Zawahiri, Veep Says
Vice President Dick Cheney revealed today that he shot a fellow hunter while on a quail hunting trip over the weekend because he believed the man was the fugitive terror mastermind Ayman al-Zawahiri.

Mr. Cheney acknowledged that the man he sprayed with pellets on Saturday was not al-Zawahiri but rather Harry Whittington, a 78-year-old millionaire lawyer from Austin, blaming the mix-up on "faulty intelligence."

"I believed I had credible intelligence that al-Zawahiri had infiltrated my hunting party in disguise with the intent of spraying me with pellets," Mr. Cheney told reporters. "Only after I shot Harry in the face and he shouted 'Cheney, you bastard' did I realize that this intelligence was faulty."

Moments after Mr. Cheney's assault on Mr. Whittington, Mr. al-Zawahiri appeared in a new videotape broadcast on al-Jazeera to announce that he was uninjured in the vice president's attack because, in his words, "I was in Pakistan."

An aide to the vice president said he believed that the American people would believe Mr. Cheney's version of events, but added, "If he was going to shoot any of his cronies right now it's a shame it wasn't Jack Abramoff."

At the White House, President George W. Bush defended his vice president's shooting of a fellow hunter, saying that the attack sent "a strong message to terrorists everywhere."

"The message is, if Dick Cheney is willing to shoot an innocent American citizen at point-blank range, imagine what he'll do to you," Mr. Bush said.

Elsewhere, aviator Steve Fossett completed his three-day journey around the globe, setting a world record for wasting both time and money.

Comments: 13

Stephen Schneider Feb 17, 2006, 10:45am EST

As an American, I believe it totally
It's my job

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Cat Givens Feb 17, 2006, 10:47am EST

Ha Ha! Right on, Stepford, ahem, I mean Stephen!

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Carol Voigts Feb 17, 2006, 11:04am EST

Oh yes, I believe too.

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0000-bladegrip-0000 Feb 17, 2006, 12:33pm EST

Shouldn't you Liberals stop beating the Cheney dead horse and move on to something more important to liberals like what the Hollywood stars are doing and with whom?

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Cat Givens Feb 17, 2006, 12:47pm EST

Oh, Yes, Liberals Suck! You are so right! Any suggestions?

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d g. Feb 17, 2006, 12:49pm EST

Hi Liberals Suck, I'm too liberal for tv, microwaves and toasters.

Did you ever hear of V.P. Dan going quail hunting with George's dad George? He may not have been intelligent, but he did have survival skills.

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Rushmore J. Feb 21, 2006, 7:14pm EST

Of course the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

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Cat Givens Feb 22, 2006, 6:06am EST

Of course they have!

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0000-dashiell5-0000 Feb 22, 2006, 6:19am EST

You have to laugh. The same e-mails would be circulating no matter who pulled the trigger -- Ted Kennedy, Dick Cheney, Howard Dean, Bill Clinton, or Roy Rogers (Trigger-Pulling joke). It's just our way of processing the madness, is all.

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Cat Givens Feb 22, 2006, 6:57am EST

So true, KR!
I loved your Trigger Joke! Humor works best for keeping "sane" in this mad world. I feel neither the Dems or Reps are safe from righteous mockery, as they are "egg-saturated" (obvious pun) caricatures of their former selves any how! (not all, but the many)

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