Fuzzy Edges- Two Word Challenge - Kathryn Esplin-Oleski

This story was inspired by an email I just read from the high school. The school nurse has been talking to students about this practice, which, apparently is very common. An article in the February issue of Seventeen magazine was published decrying this game. The email from the high school reprinted another article (date unknown) from the Minneapolis Star-Tribune. I think this game has been around for decades. My husband is a psychologist and he mentioned it to me 20 years ago, that it was common among boys.

Reprinted from the Minneapolis Star-Tribune:
"Initially ruled a suicide, 13-year-old Chelsea Dunn may have accidentally killed herself by what some kids call a game.
"They call it something dreaming," says twenty-year-old Kelly Pilger. Sarah Johnson remembers, "They call it fainting each other."
Self-asphyxiation-choking each other or themselves, which produces a kind of high. "Press people up against a wall, until they didn't have any oxygen, until they passed out," describes Kelly. Jessica Fuller says "[they] probably do it for about four hours at a time, like repeatedly, over and over again."
They use bags, belts, ties, or even their own bare hands, causing hypoxia, a shortage of oxygen. "Basically, it's a very dangerous play where the person deprives his brain of oxygen," explains Dr. Ashraf Attalla, child psychiatrist, "By reducing the blood pressure the brain basically starts an irreversible process of dying."
And he says the result can be permanent brain damage, or in cases like Chelsea Dunn- death.
Obviously there is no drug test, but there are clues that parents need to watch for. "Any unusual marks around the neck. Parents might find some ties, or ropes tied in unusual ways, complaints of headaches, blood shot eyes," explains Dr. Attalla.
He says some kids may be fascinated by this strange and dangerous play. As Sarah Johnson says, "It's something that's not talked about, it's not well known, and there's a lure to that."
And that's why experts say- take away the mystery. Teach your kids that this is no game. "It's a very, very dangerous practice," says the doctor, "and I think the community and parents need to know about this."

If you know of anyone who participates in this game, please tell them about it's dangers. Thank you.

So scary. I have overheard my daughter and her friends talk about playing a similiar game but they don't use the bag and tie. They just press against the person until they faint. I have never taken it this far in my head. I guess I should.

oh, kathryn - my god. thank you for writing this!

Kathryn, What is so scary is that We did something similar when we were teens. We would hyperventilate then hold our breath and we would pass out. I am so scared to let my children be teens. I hope they never try this. I was stupid to do it the way I did. Thank you for sharing this. I forgot about how stupid I was back then. UGH! Night mares!

Serina, thanks for commenting. i guess it is extremely common. When I was a teen, we would hang upside down, hopefully to induce fainting. The choking is much more dangerous.

Jessie, thanks for reading and commenting. It is scary.

Pam, you are such a good mother your children will probably have the good sense (if they try dangerous games) not to let them get out of hand. We used to hang upside down, but i never thought it was a good idea and I stopped after about 10 to 15 seconds.

Wow! Sounds like great fun to me. Right.

I've never heard of this but know a few teenagers who I'm convinced must have tried this and never recovered from the oxygen deprivation. How else can you explain the makeup and hairstyles?

Teens always find a way to abuse themselves, don't they? I remember reading about Russian teenagers using poisinous mushrooms for a high. One would eat the mushrooms; only he would get sick. The others would drink his urine to enjoy the psychadelic affect without the poisin. Makes me sick just to think about it.

Very infomative, if rather shocking piece Kathryn. Who would have guessed this would be your post.
Thanks for the "fuzzy edge" challenge Kathryn. It was fun and perfectly vague.

Carl, yes teens do like to abuse themselves. The tactics you describe are dangerous and destructive, and, disgusting, too, I might add. Teens need jobs to keep them occupied and feeling worthwhile.

Stephen, i'm glad you like 'fuzzy edges' as a challenge. I was concerned it might be too vague, but all the writers have come forth with terrific articles.

EWE CARL LOL

Kathryn - great purpose behind this - I never tried this, but my cousin did and thought it was cool. It is amazing what teens will do and think will not hurt them. I hope we can stop this from happening again!

Yes, Monica, I hope we can stop them. I will talk to my two high schoolers this afternoon.

Powerful stuff, thanks for the follow up write that goes with it to explain.

Thanks, d.m., it is a powerful issue.

wow! powerful stuff Kathryn. Thanks for sharing

I get so terrified when I read what kids are up to! Way to stretch the boundaries of our thinking!

Brad, thank you.
Aileen, yes it is very scary.

Great eye-opener, Kathryn. Thanks for writing it, And especially for writing it in this way.

very scary.. having all these children is scary enough.... now i am gonna have to address this game with them... I think they may need to read this.. I like that you did it from the view of the child... it will hit home with them. Thanks so much... Lisa

I've heard about this, and honestly can't imagine anyone doing it. Apparently, it's fairly common. I equate it to drug use, and attribute both to kids getting too much. One summer a guy I was dating asked if he could pick up a summer pass to the amusement park for daughter while he was getting passes for his kids. I said no, and he offered to pay for hers. I explained that it wasn't the money, it was that I thought the amusement park should be a thrill, and it wouldn't be if she went often. He thought I was strange, and I thought he was setting his sons up for drinking and drugs... when regular things aren't thrilling, they'll find something that is. I see where someone else suggested jobs - I don't agree with that, but do think it's important to keep them involved in learning and doing (mine chose dancing, singing, and politics - some choose sports and film-making, etc) so they have excitement and something to look forward to.

This scared the crap outa me. Powerful piece Kathryn.

Susan, I'm glad you enjoyed the story. Yes, it is scary.

Lisa, yes do address this issue with them. My son, a senior, said: Mom, it's so retarded. Oh, let's choke ourselves to get high.

Sandy, yes, having good activities is very important. You did the right thing (I'm not telling you anything you don't already know) by refusing a pass to the amusement park. Kids need love, too, and sometimes in families there isn't enough love. My son has tried a bit of pot and alcohol, but doesn't like them. My town has a horrific drug and alcohol problem at the high school, so I consider myself lucky. My daughter doesnt' liike pot or alcohol, either. I wrote that jobs are a good idea, and I think it is part of the mix - to keeping someone feeling productive. You're right about giving kids too much. That's part of the problem.

Carolyn, are drugs and alcohol and dangerous activities as much a problem for Australian youth as they are for American youth? Just curious. It is scary. I asked my kids about it and they hadn't heard of it nor were they interrested.

Kathryn, I too thought the prose/poem folllowed by a detailed article was a great way to approach this subject. I was aware of this practice but more tied to sexuality and adults or at least older teens who say this "fuzzy edge" also enhances orgasm. I never thought it was as wide spread as it seems to be.

So much depends on the kids genes, are they a risk taking type? Some parents do all the right things to no avail, others do all the wrong things and the kid manages to survive to adulthood. I do agree that the more open a parent is to discussing EVERYTHING, without threat of recriminations, the better.

Cynthia, I, too was aware of this being tied to sexuality among boys, but never knew it was this widespread. I think you're right that genes have a lot to do with it. And the more open the discussions with parents, the better.

We used to do a version of this over forty years ago, when I was in elementary school. We'd hold our breath until we could pass out, or something, I forget the details. I do remember getting caught at it and being sent to the principal's office. When the principal explained how dangerous it was, how one of us could have died, one of the girls fainted. For real.

I don't think it's got anything to do with "teenagers today" or having too much or any of that stuff. I think it mostly has to do with the fact that the human brain is not fully formed until the age of about 26, and the part that is not fully developed is the part where we learn to discern the consequences of our actions down the line. Hence teenage boys speeding in cars, and girls having unprotected sex. "It can't happen to me." Some people actually do enjoy getting dizzy; I suppose these kids just think it's a little harmless case of "the spins." Hard to believe, but remember: unformed brains.

Good piece, though -- sounds very much like the kind of conversation a kid would have.

Wendy, you're right, it does have a lot to do with kids' brains being unformed until age 26. Dangerous to think about when kids are adults at age 18, yet their brains aren't fully caught up until age 26. Thank you for reading and commenting.

This was one of those 'uncomfortable' pieces you have to read to the end. Interesting sensation. I think Wendy's observations have a correlation lurking somewhere between kids being the 'centers of their own universe', feeling full of life and 'invicible', and being sheltered from the really bad things as we parents are wont to protect them. Practitioners might be able to give insight to research studies of similar behaviors. Brrr.

Victoria, thanks for your comment. It is horrible to read about. It does seem that a variation of this is present in every generation. I spoke to my son and he said, "Mom, it's retarded. Let's choke ourselves so we can get high." All the points of view as to why this happens are valid; ultimately, we don't know.

The drug-free high. I read a similar report about a suburban Chicago girl who did this by herself with fatal consequences. What I haven't figured out yet is why kids are compelled to escape this fantasy to poke their heads into another.

Patricia, thanks for your comment. I'm really at a loss as to why kids do this.

Thank you for the informative comments on a important slant to "fuzzy edges" Even safe teens take chances, like how they drive. I don't think at that age, they have any clue about death, and how quickly it can come. Most of them haven't seen it too much.

Carol, thank you for your comment. Yes, this is a post where the comments are more important than the orignal post. Teens do take chances, a part of it is for the reason you give, another part is I think their brains are not fully developed. Driving is a good example.

Kathryn -

We (most of the boys in my school) played this game many times. That was back in 1965-66. It wasn't the exact same game, but did involve compression to removed air. I never passed out, but knew people that did. Truly scary and we had no one telling us it was "bad". Wonderful article and great (as well as "needed") take on "Fuzzy Edges".

I can't help but feel that this article has pushed "Two Words" into a whole new catagory. Thank you for elevating our "game".

David, thank goodness you're alive and well today to tell all the wonderfully great stories you tell. Thanks!

I agree with Pam, my friends and I would also try and hyperventilate then hold our breath and so we would pass out, only we did it as kids, not as teens, thank goodness.

Wow, first post that I have seen that makes the two-word challenge informative/...Well Done!!

Thanks, Bonnie. I'm surprised by how so near universal it is.

I remember feeling everything so intensely as a teen that I had absolutely no idea what to do with the feelings. Mmy sexuality was screaming in full throttle, and I wanted to feast on anything that would release or express my intensity. I still am somewhat that way now....the difference is, having escaped constrictive parents and private schools that only sought to model me into their prescription for success, I desperately sought and have luckily succeeded in finding many healthy outlets and means of expression that do not involve risk to myself or others. Writing and art are two of these. I think that especially now as the schools eliminate the arts, creative writing, and many forms of physical release such as dance and exercise from their programs, we must really look to communicating and encouraging these and other alternatives to young people. Sublimation and censorship of their emotions is not the answer. Bland, enforced socialization is not the answer. I am soooo excited and fulfilled when I truly get to express my voice loud and clear with all of its individualistic quirks to a person who does not arm themselves with the weapons of rebuke, or judgment or analyzed alteration. The high is immensely pleasurable, like none I haveever known from altered states.

Laura, you're right that creative expression is a very important form of release. You make some good points. Let's hope the schools keep creative classes as much as possible.

Steve the legend, I am sure you have. I am positive of that. You ARE commonsense, personified.