words are my reality

One of my first memories as a child is going with my mother to the library.she would go to the American library on a street which runs parallel to the Meditarranian sea promonade, there was always cold wind coming from between the houses, even on a warm day..

The library had so many books and no picture books, she would just take me along to see...

when i was older i went with another little girl through a small park to a library in a cabin like structure , there were not so many books there but  i could take a few from the children's section all by myself and my friend and i would have a great time on the way, we would stop and buy candy and sing silly songs and laugh..and the books , they felt good too..

I loved reading from the earliest age i could imagine myself..i learned to read and write  very easily and felt a very deep urge to record my thoughts in a diary..i wrote about the kittens me and my friends used to save, i gave the kittens names and wrote about their progress and afterwards short interments about their short lives illustrated by my sketches of them..later on i read a line from Shakespeare's sonnet 18                                                                                                                        " :Nor shall death brag thou wandrest in his shade,

When in eternal lines to time thou growest,

so long as men can breath or eyes can see 

"So long lives this, and this gives life to thee"                                                                                                       about the significance of writing .

I think it sums it up for me; the idea that you can immortalize a  mortal creature by writing about it..

Books gave life an extension , it became bigger than you and me, and the here and now.

I loved words and how they felt and mostly the books made me feel safe , they were not threatening like some of  the litle boys in the neighberhood who seemed  to always pick a fight..or the girls who had a whoel list on who is  popular and who is not

books were not dificult to touch, you could just reach out and take them, you did not need to make an effort to be liked by them, they were just there..

I spent a great deal of time in libraries studying for exams,i liked the atmosphere of books ..shelves and shelves of books.

Once a year there was  a book fair in the square in front of our apartement building, the municipality square..there were stands and writers would come  and sign their books..i always looked forewards to the late spring when the trucks and workers came and unloaded the books and built stands where the books would later be displayed..i remember asking my mother to buy me a book..what for, she would say,you can lend one in the library?

I remember one year when i was 9 ,the same age as my daughter now, and i really wanted a book..my mother refused,when she said no it never changed, despite the fuss i could make and i was very  good at insisiting..she recalls once having to hear me neg for a toy monkey every day for two weeks repeating the sentence: "can i have the monkey?" till she couldn't stand to hear it any longer and bought me the monkey..but with books she remained firm for some reason..

My father decided to buy me the book anyway..usually he would go along with what my mother said for the sake of peace at home but this particular year he just went with me to the fair..i remember hwo excited i was to hold the new book, the smell of the pages , the look of the cover and the name of the book "Cozette-from the Miserables" by Victor Hugo -a special children's edition..i must have read that book ten times a day at least, and felt the emotions of Cozette who longed for a doll and her father who was in jail ,far from her..it went deep and i seemed to be Cozette..

Every time i had experienced difficulties in my life whether it was adolescence ,growing pains, being in love and not having the love returned ,my father's terminal illness  when i was 16 , whatever the problem was i could go to the library and feel safe..

I think that is also why i feel so good and safe on the occasions when i visit an orthodox Jewish home..there are always books there, shelves and shelves of books for religious study ;every time you enter the living room you are surrounded by books ..

Still today i go to the library once a week ,sometimes with my children ,sometimes i go by myself and i am amazed how i always seem to find books that impact my life in a deep way..

I hope my children also learn to appreciate the refuge books offer and the empowerment  writing can offer.