Bottled Promise poem shorts (for Dave L)

Well, I thought I'd have a go at it too, and mulled it over all day. But I ended up with two little shorts.

Bottled promise or unbottled

What if it is bottled?

What difference does it make, bottled or unbottled?

Where will it go if unbottled?

Who will take it if it comes unbottled?

What does a promise look like anyway?

Does it flow out of the bottle?

Is it thick and viscous?

Is it red or yellow, or striped?

Can I mop it up when it spills over the tile?

Maybe I could get the dog to lick it up?

Can I get it back into the bottle?

Is a promise something I should keep?

Bottled Promise of Childhood

Bottled promise

There were three of those

One was Ojibway Bitters--ugh

Lydia Pinkham's was another--ever worse

Squibb's Codliver Oil--oh god!

How could parents inflict this on me

Bottled promise?

No, I think not?

Comments: 14

jessie voigts Feb 2, 2006, 9:59pm EST

carol - i liked both - so very different! i think your dog is lucky, to lap up spilled promise. great job!

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Pam F. Feb 2, 2006, 10:06pm EST

I love to read how we all have these way different views on poems with the same title subject! Yours are great. I like the first one best.... I can see someone trying to save the promise and its already spilled out... the dog is licking it up and the owner is trying to get it back into the bottle.

Good job! Mine was way serious.... yours is light and funny!

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Pam F. Feb 2, 2006, 10:07pm EST

Man I sound like a valley girl when I read my comment. WAY cool dude... It was WAY trippin. Way serious! LIKE u kno?

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David L. Feb 2, 2006, 10:09pm EST

How unique these are. A whole new perspective. Why does that not surprize me? Very nice work. Your childhood wasn't very tastefull, was it?

Yes. Keep your promises. Not in a bottle, but in your heart. Forever.

Good job!!!

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David L. Feb 2, 2006, 10:12pm EST

Like I can totally relate, Pam. Like fur sur!

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Kathryn E. Feb 2, 2006, 10:36pm EST

Carol, very very nice. Of the two, I prefer the second one.

Pardon my ignorance, but are you and Jessie Voigts related? (I've only been a Gather.com member for two weeks, so there is much I still have to learn).

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Carol Voigts Feb 2, 2006, 10:43pm EST

Jessie is my brother's daughter. We've been close and her middle name is Carol.

Thanks, all. Oh yes, my dad had both us kids in the kitchen before bed taking that crap!

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Stephen Schneider Feb 3, 2006, 12:15am EST

Ychhh! Child abuse

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Monica Kennedy Feb 3, 2006, 2:00am EST

I second that YCHHHHH!!!! My mom said her parents made her eat Vicks Vapor rub -- Even more YCHHHH!!!! My mom says Vick's is the cure all though - not oraly though - but anywhere else! LOL - does your toe hurt? Put some Vicks on it!

Well done Carol -- I liked BOTH!

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Cat Givens Feb 3, 2006, 3:56am EST

Carol, these were charming and totally enjoyable! You had me laughing out loud at the image of the dog licking it up!
Sorry for your rotten luck with the bottled promises of childhood! :)

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Tom Voigts Feb 3, 2006, 7:49am EST

I have to say that being one of two recipients of the nasty cod lover oil that our father doled out, we hated every swallow. I don't care how you tried to mask it, it's flavor and odor permeated its carrier and brought on the gag reflex in short order. I know our father had only best in mind for us but this bordered on sadism, just kidding. It was GAWD awful, and I still have trouble taking fish oil pills to this day. Good reminder Carol and its brings forth a chuckle.

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0000-dashiell5-0000 Feb 3, 2006, 4:37pm EST

Codliver Oil. From the same era as mouths washed out with soap. That was back when disciplinarians kept their promises (and probably hit the bottle a lot, too). I liked #2 especially. Childhood is such a great metaphor for Promise in the cloudy bottle of Memory...

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Monica Kennedy Feb 9, 2006, 3:14pm EST

Carol - I saw your comments on Pam's Sibling Torture post - sorry you did not likethis week's Two word challenge, and I certainly understand you views. No one has come up to volunteer for the next issuer officially yet and you have some great ideas - would you like to do it? If so, come let me know ASAP on this week's challenge article. I had stated there that anyone intereested post there, so I want it to be fair to all by having those interested actually post there. Here is a link. I am asking a few who have mentioned good ideas and if more than one comes, I will announce a final decision tonight. Thanks!

Two Word Challenge for the Week of February 6, 2006

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John F Walter Apr 1, 2006, 12:26pm EST

Just shows what an elastic imagination such as yours Carol can do with any topic; they just uncorked you , and away you go!
Really an excellent riff. I honestly think you could do rap rhymes to if you set your mind to it, lady. Your imagination is sweeping and far reaching, indeed.

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Bottled Promise poem shorts (for Dave L)

Comments: 14

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