During the press conference announcing the change, team owner Henry Samueli discussed the reasons behind the change: "For the past 12 years, we've really just been fooling ourselves. After some serious self-reflection we, by which I mean the entire organization, are finally able to admit that there's really nothing very "Mighty" about a duck. We 'quack' at games, for crying out loud. We've accepted what we are, and we think the fans will embrace the change wholeheartedly. We're going to get the ball rolling next season by getting rid of promotional t-shirts and instead throwing stale bread into the stands between periods.
"Also, I'm personally just so sick and tired of people asking me if I can introduce them to Emilio Esteves."
Also today, the new ownership group of major league baseball's Tampa Bay Devil Rays announced the team was considering a similar name change.
Team spokesman Matt Silverman noted in a press meeting that new owner Stu Sternberg wanted to give the organization a clean start and "exorcise the demons".
"In compliance with our new owner's wishes, we will be removing the Devil from our team name and be known only as the Rays," Silverman announced before standing on his chair with a cross, dousing reporters with holy water and yelling in Latin.
When, in a follow-up question, Silverman was asked whether or not Sternberg's request perhaps wasn't meant to be taken quite so literally, the spokesman promptly jumped down and ripped the reporter's heart from his chest.
Not to be outdone, NFL commissioner and Seattle Seahawks plan to use Tuesday's SuperBowl Media Day to announce a drastic change in that organization as well. A prepared statement sent to the Associated Press read:
Beginning next year, the Seattle Seahawks will be changing their name to the Seattle Sea Hawks. The team, in close conjunction with the commissioners office, has conducted extensive research and fan polling over the last 10 months that indicates the great fan base in Seattle would wholeheartedly support such a drastic change that we feel more accurately reflects the shared vision and values of the only professional football organization in the Pacific Northwest. Plus we're in the SuperBowl and this will help us sell even more jerseys and stuff.
The team is expected to spend between $12-15 million to update signage around the stadium and the city of Seattle, not to mention team stationary, the logo on the team bus and reprinting all of next year's tickets. The new Sea Hawks plan to cover the cost by doubling ticket prices and charging fans to use the bathroom at Qwest Field.
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