Anticipation

Held me breathless to the end!

Cat, you look like that kid who jumped off the diving board and hung suspended for eternity until his mother got the pictures developed. I'm sorry I didn't see this before. Thank you. And I hope you weren't too lonely here.

Very vivid poem. Not sure what it's about, yet I'm compelled to read it over and over.

NO, Audrey, this is not a poem. It's fancy prose, an epistle of sorts, or maybe an add for free stress.

How funny about the rating. And I really thought I was a top-notch epistle writer.

Oh, Audrey -- you rate! Just not with Gather's gold stars. :-)

I agree with Cat, Sandy -- you create a breath-holding atmosphere with this (someone distract Audrey) poem. Nicely done.

Guys, I really don't want you to rate this RAP SONG higher than it deserves.

Someone just posted on the other article. Someone who is no longer here. Would it be too terrible presumptious to think that person might have come over here and hit one, since she asked her mailing list to do the same? Or am I grasping at straws and paranoid?

The one where you said very kind things in my defense, Liz, and I didn't thank you. So, let me thank you now, in the garden party.

Somebody pass the worms and wine.

Funny how someone leaves Gather so that they can remain here and post... Ow! That worm still had a hook in it!

Sandy, I'm outta here -- Sean's got to be at work at 7am and I'm the taxi driver. Hope it's a good night for all.

Regarding that last comment over there, I never said nazis. Karissa had White Ntionalist Movement listed as her political affiliation, and I found that group listed on the link Mom sent us to. Is that the same?

Good night to those who have to leave.

If anyone wonders about me putting myself in this position, I think the answer fits perfectly with Bill's article, but he didn't want to discuss that. I believe the only way to combat bullies is to stand up to them. I thought I was implementing the suggestion in his article (in this situation and a couple of others).

Audrey! What kind of hedgehog are you? I know for a fact that hedgies love both of those things. Nothing like waking up in the middle of the night to sounds on clinking glasses on the hardwoord floor. Burglar? Drunk friend? No....Wine thief and drunken master of the night? Heck yeah...

Sandy, there are few people as willing as you are to stand in front of the tanks and challenge the drivers. Sometimes I marvel at your stance, and sometimes I marvel even more at how people fail to see what you're doing. It is an example of exactly how we got this country to where it is today: people want answers handed to them and they do not want to rock the boat; thus, they will not consult the map for themselves and they will follow the flow right over the falls.

I'm a little sad that Bill did not participate in the discussion that followed his article. If anyone was a "bully" there, perhaps "Lucky Johnny" would qualify because he was making light of N1M's stand, but I think she started the entire episode by creating that new identity. I would have been pleased to see Bill address that, as an objective party.

I didn't read anything N1M posted originally. Personally, I think it's arrogant to proclaim yourself #1 Mom -- I'd hand that title to my own mother, given the choice, and I'm betting I'm not the only child who feels that way about his/her mother. The name alone is a challenge thrown out.

By the time I realized this woman was upset, she had removed all primary evidence of her claims and complaints and re-invented herself in a hostile identity aimed at a friend of mine. From my point of view, that's an Adult Bully. Bill could have expanded the scope of his article nicely working with all that. Perhaps he may still do so.

Dannielle, I do appreciate your friendship and insight, and willingness to suffer uncomfortable situations with me. Regarding Bill. I doubt he will expand. I'm pretty sure I am the "bully" (one of them anyway) he wrote about in his first article when he wrote that someone had cried on his shoulder about being bullied to the point she was thinking about leaving Gather. If he had realized the error in his thinking and published this second article to 'make things right', I think he would have hung around yesterday to participate in the discussion. That leaves me to wonder what the purpose of this second one was, and why he doesn't appreciate me for exposing the suited bullies.

For the record, I think Jill/Mom needs to seek some sort of therapy to overcome her anger issues.

I have no credentials for saying so, but I agree, Lisa. Her anger appears to cloud her ability to see things as they really are. But that's a lay opinion.

I don't get all this conversation but if this poem (or qilded prose) is an embodiment of your great grandmother's spirit she was a time bomb and I would love to get to know her!!!!!
Hark is there an ilk of you here?

"Radical transformation
lurks in wait,"
So much of life is stagnant at this stage--like buying a lottery ticket. I think this is a powerful poem and it sure is a fist in the gut for me.

Thank you, Priscilla. The conversation is impossible to follow now because many of the original comments are missing. That's true on many of my articles since half of my connections left Gather.

I agree with Priscilla. Very powerful.

Joanne, you're taking me back through things I had truly forgotten. Thanks for reading my old stuff.

this a a great poem thanks

Sandy,

What was that you said about not being able to write poetry? This one has me transfixed.

It's about waiting for a meeting and a transformation of some sort. It could be about finding out the true reality behind a person, or it could even be about meeting death. I admire the way you have written about both the personal and the universal here.

I was going to mention Emily Dickenson's poem about meeting death, but decided not to, as the mood there is very different from the mood here. You have summed up Sandy's poem beautifully, as usual. The last four lines seem to be the most important.

(I hope Sandy agrees!)

Thank you. I had forgotten this existed.

Ann, I think it would depend on how a person views death. I believe there are some things worse than death, it is reasonable to look forward to death, and I am not afraid of death. So, this could work for that anticipation, as well as others in life.

I just read through the older comments. Funny how some things never change ("Funny how someone leaves Gather so that they can remain here and post... Ow! That worm still had a hook in it!")

Sandy,

I have been to that place where death seems a relief, and I certainly hoped for death at that time. After I recovered, most of my conscious fear of death had disappeared, although I think my unconscious mind is still terrified of dying. But somehow death seems more right to me now, an important part of the natural order of things.

I know I've said this before on another string, but there is a quote from Asian philosophy that I love, although I've never been able to track down the source:

Without dying, how can one know that death is not the greatest joy?

By the way, Sandy, you say that you had forgotten this poem. Did you mean to point us here with your comment on Dave K.'s article, or were you aiming somewhere else?

That explains it, Ann! No, this is not what I meant to link from Dave's article. I must have copied the wrong address.

I have also been near death. I think I was close enough to know that it is the greatest joy, or at least would have been at the time. If I have subconscious fear of death now, it is buried so deeply I don't know it's there. I am afraid of the pain that can be involved, but not of the actual death.

Sandy,

I think we've been to the same place. That's part of the reason I never judge someone who has committed suicide.

I read this as facing one's mortality also, as well as the warring impulses to stagnate and move forward, that queasy feeling of ambivalence; I really like this Sandy, poetry or prose, it evokes a powerful emotion

Ed,

I'm glad you followed me to Sandy's poem. It seems relevant to the discussion of your poem.

Thanks, Ed. That queasy feeling of ambivalence finds me in many situations. I can apply this to most of them, since the process of working through is usually the same.

Ann, I believe our lives belong to us, so I support the right to die and assisted suicide.

Have you heard of

The Final Exit Network?

No, I haven't, Ann. I will check it out. Thanks.

Well, As for me, Ms. Sandy, I sure am glad you stayed around. (Or came back, as the case may be.) I wouldn't have missed reading you for anything.

Very gritty, honest look at what is/maybe coming...
Couple of things hold true for all of us.
We are born, with grace and style, or in the absence of the same.
we pay taxes (fairly or unfairly)
we die, with grace and style, or in the absence of the same.
Ergo ... strive for grace and style in all things.

Sandy, you have both.
Wilka

Wilka, you are so kind. I hope my comments were not misleading. I have never (yet) wanted to die. I've been so sick that I wasn't sure I was going to live, and even at the point where I was so tired of fighting that might have stopped if I hadn't had a young daughter who needed me here. However, because of my disabilities, I am aware that I might become a prisoner in my own body. I want the right to escape, and to have someone help me do it legally.

Very interesting poem. Thanks for the handy list. I don't have disabilities, but I still fear becoming a prisoner in my own body. I agree that we should have the choice to stay or go, but if one is young, I'd be happier if they got some serious counseling first. So often depression can convince us it would be better to leave, but then later we're glad we didn't.

Came back to visit this powerfully revealed thoughts and now I wonder if you are ever going to share with us what disabling stroke struck.

Barbara, I'm sorry I didn't see your comment. Thanks. I agree that a person who is depressed should seek counseling before making a final decision. Probably, anyone considering suicide should, but our system doesn't support assisted suicide and that makes it a sticky situation.

Priscilla, thanks for coming back. Are you asking what prompted this poem, or about my disability? I'll private message you the answer to both.

I see this pertaining to a multitude of life experiences. Death, change, or just pondering the "what ifs" in the universe and how we fit into the grand scheme of things. It's mentally stimulating to say the least.
Very enjoyable Sandy!

Eventually I am going to get around to reading all your work

You suffered through more than one of my poems. I love you, Wade. Thanks.

There's no suffering involved of any kind Sandy. You're a writer with an enviable talent and it's always a pleasure to read your material, be it poetry or short stories.

I love you too!