I was cold as hell, frozen in place with a racing heart,
keenly indifferent, and aching to be well.
I was a losing winner.
Or maybe a winning loser.
A monstrous little building ambushed me,
a bright spot in the night.
I staggered in,
looking for a way out.
Tastefully bland and inhabited by emptiness,
it inspired me with its obscurity.
Friendly strangers mixed with strange friends,
circling a square bar in soothing eeriness.
It was incredibly awesome
how the socially stagnant
blindly looked for anesthetized rapture,
each one alone in the crowd.
Poised between enlightened confusion and nervous sedation,
I grew smaller.
I heard the silence of my whispered screams,
smiled, and nodded, joyfully crying
until I was actively dead.
The experience was simply deep.
Or deeply simple.
I might have twisted myself straight.
It's possible I staggered out looking for a way in,
to a world already gone.
Line 'em up, bartender, the next round's on me.
Sandy Knauer
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Comments: 57
realities don't mix
the clash is painfull
and so is the crash
Your opposing verbs and adverbs set up a dizzy look at the scene. They give me a contact buzz. Still, there is a sense of horror begun with the initial coldness and finished with the staggering out to a world that was once innocent. It could be that the dichotomies are in fact two people viewing the same scene from separate and opposing points of view...
very thought provoking!
I spent a lot of time in bars and clubs over the years. I don't drink, and I love to watch people, so this is my outsider's view of the scene. I'm working on a new bar scene story, from a quite different perspective. I thought it would be simple, but it keeps going deeper and getting longer on me. I'm enjoying it, but not sure where it'll end up ;-) Thanks again!
Nice hijack, just the same. :-)
Thanks all!
Great, I had to read it 3 times ...complex and simple
Pay no attention to the little old lady bashers.
Thanks.
Ann
The experience was simply deep.
Or deeply simple.
I might have twisted myself straight.
It's possible I staggered out looking for a way in,
to a world already gone.
PS, what caused you to think Yes Man had a personality?
I like to people watch in bars.
(there might have been some porn in a backroom of this place, who knows?) I love to watch people everywhere, but especially in bars.
And there's a good kind of people watching...sometimes you can learn something.
I visited two of the best people watching spots last week. Hampden Beach & Reno. Here's my article on Reno: http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.jsp?articleId=281474976762618
Great line. Of course, I spent many a night working in a bar and people watching. Definately an education.
Excellent just scratches the surface of how great a poem this is Sandy. I absolutely loved it.
I bartended for years.
Set me up a round for the house bartender - This one on me!
(will you pass Donna a napkin, please)
I love bars. I love the atmosphere the most, but I also love a good cold beer.
I used to frequent quite a small bars a time ago.
I lived half a block from a street that had 4 bars within a drunken walking distance and they were all different yet sort of the same.
This line reminds me of them..."Friendly strangers mixed with strange friends;" the bars and the people.
Thank you for coming to read this, both of you.
Melissa, I'm glad this brought back a fun memory. I've spent a lot of time in bars. I was the sober one, and this sums up how I saw the people around me - in most every bar.
I see a few places where it could be cleaned up now that I've been away from it for a while. I'll work on it - unless you see them and want to let me know.
What a great poem to read with a drink in hand!
I don't think you escaped without a touch of religion, though:
"Poised between enlightened confusion and nervous sedation"
Spiritus contra spirtum
For me, religions (Buddhism included) are simply those spiritual myths that are currently in vogue.
make them up.