Tag: humor column
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May 26, 2006 11:30 PM EDT --
I have a question. This particular question has plagued me for the past month, tried my wits and patience, and left me feeling uncertain about my mental faculties. I'm stumped. So I pose this question . . .
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May 26, 2006 11:37 PM EDT --
Today is a sad day for the English language. Extreme, a word that has long been associated with sporting activities that are borderline suicidal, died earlier today in a tragic accident. Born in the late . . .
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May 06, 2006 09:33 PM EDT --
First published February 3, 2006
When I was a kid, my parents loved to humiliate me by hugging me in public, or to crush my dreams of glory by keeping me from sky-diving off the tool shed. Back then, . . .
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May 18, 2006 08:24 PM EDT --
As I've mentioned frequently in my column, I have a Doberman named Brenna, who happens to be the biggest baby of all dogs. Ok, I know what you're going to say; that your little poodlie-cocka-whatever . . .
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July 21, 2006 03:19 PM EDT --
What I've Learned So Far... Today
Your Daily (More Or Less) Dose of Satire
July 21, 2006
With his new movie, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest breaking all box office records, cinema . . .
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May 26, 2006 11:08 PM EDT --
I want a theme song, written about me, just for me. My theme song should highlight all of my positive attributes and make no mentions of my flaws. On second thought I have no flaws, so the song . . .
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May 26, 2006 11:12 PM EDT --
Hello. My name is Chris, and I'm a bad neighbor.
I never thought of myself as a bad neighbor. The crazy neighbor? Perhaps. I believe I achieved crazy neighbor status last Halloween. I handed out . . .
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May 26, 2006 11:17 PM EDT --
I recently found myself in the market for a new razor. It wasn't a planned razor change; I was extremely happy with my previous razor until it unexpectedly offed itself last week in an act of "toilet . . .
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May 26, 2006 11:21 PM EDT --
(The Dimmer Switch was recently the subject of a focus group to assess its overall humor capacity. 74% of the participants in the study said they found the content of the Dimmer Switch to be entertaining . . .
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May 26, 2006 11:34 PM EDT --
Spring has finally arrived in my neck o' the woods. The calendar may say spring started over a month ago, but I doubt that mother nature received that text message. Besides, the start of spring isn't . . .
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September 08, 2006 06:29 PM EDT --
First Publised January 27, 2006
In the Northwest terminal of the Detroit Metro Airport there is a sign right in the middle of the line to the security check point. Since it's the only can't-miss-it . . .
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October 19, 2006 01:53 AM EDT --
October in Michigan is a magical thing. The leaves are beginning to change, the nights are cooler, and the kids are back in school. From the football stadium, the festive sounds of the marching band, the . . .
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November 03, 2006 05:48 PM EST --
This afternoon I was talking to my friends Josh and Cliff, and the conversation naturally turned to Paul McCartney's breakup with Heather Mills. Ok, this may only be natural for three guys who all . . .
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December 23, 2006 11:26 AM EST --
You know, I don’t care where you live (other than maybe downtown Baghdad), I’m willing to bet that there’s some guy in your neighborhood whose roof is literally sagging under the weight . . .
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May 02, 2006 11:57 AM EDT --
First published January 13, 2006
This is a little out of season, but I'm posting it at the request of Heather.
You know, to me the worst thing about a Midwestern winter is not the gray skies. It's . . .
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June 30, 2006 05:57 PM EDT --
The Sci Fi Channel recently produced a TV special, called "Countdown To Doomsday" in which experts consider ten really crappy ways human civilization might come to an end. Possibilities include . . .
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January 13, 2007 03:50 PM EST --
I got an iPod for Christmas. This proves that you can accomplish just about anything if you put your mind to it. And if you're willing to whine a lot.
Now, I realize that not too long ago I wrote . . .
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April 17, 2007 11:43 PM EDT --
Driving by the high school parking lot last week, I was struck by the fact that every vehicle sitting out there that could be clearly and easily distinguished from a pile of scrap metal. Most of them were . . .
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May 23, 2007 11:13 AM EDT --
The Gig is finished. My throat has recovered to the extent that I can croak out whole sentences. I've polished most of the flop sweat off the guitars. I've collected my check. And through the whole . . .
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April 24, 2008 04:05 AM EDT --
"Scream at the top of your lungs until someone pays attention." That's great advice if you've fallen down a well or an elevator shaft. If you're a parent with young children, it's . . .
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