Tag: good clean funnies
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February 08, 2007 10:31 AM EST --
My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat.
When I looked at the tire,
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
Heard your wife left you;
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me. . . .
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May 30, 2007 01:04 AM EDT --
From the depths of my hard drive.
Original origins unknown...
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If you're well dressed, she thinks you're a playboy,
If you're not, she thinks you're . . .
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July 13, 2007 09:37 AM EDT --
First Day of Psychiatry Class:
Young aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on emotional extremes."Just to establish some parameters, what is the opposite of joy?"asked the . . .
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August 03, 2007 12:45 AM EDT --
This was in a newsletter from my local telephone co-op.
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You Grew Up In Iowa If...
You know what "knee-high by the Fourth of July" means.
You or someone you know was a "Pork Queen" . . .
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September 10, 2007 01:46 PM EDT --
Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck the end of the alley and worked their way to the . . .
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September 19, 2007 02:09 PM EDT --
Dear Tide:
I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! . . .
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September 11, 2007 11:31 AM EDT --
Lost Money
/* Remember September 11, 2001: http://www.gcfl.net/911 and
Heroes: http://www.gcfl.net/911/heroes.php */
The receptionist found some cash in the office, apparently
mislaid by a co-worker. . . .
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February 12, 2007 12:32 PM EST --
"IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected
with it, and you have no chance at all of making it
logical."
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" . . .
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March 07, 2007 10:18 AM EST --
Got this in my email today...
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When a mother returned from the grocery store, her small son pulled out the box of animal crackers he had begged for, and then he spread the animal-shaped crackers . . .
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March 13, 2007 10:52 AM EDT --
I think I know people who operate by these rules...
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Rules for City Driving
1. Never, EVER slow down when a light turns yellow. If you're within half a block of a stop light when it turns . . .
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March 14, 2007 10:06 AM EDT --
A policeman arrived at the scene of an accident to find that a car had struck a telephone pole. Searching for witnesses, he discovered a pale, nervous young man in work clothes who claimed he was an eyewitness. . . .
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March 15, 2007 10:54 AM EDT --
At the end of the college year, a star football player celebrated the relaxation of team curfew by attending a late night campus party. Soon after arriving, he became captivated by a beautiful young thing . . .
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March 16, 2007 09:40 AM EDT --
This came in my email today and I thought it was funny, especially if you are a teacher or have kids...
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Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a
lesson on science. She . . .
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March 17, 2007 01:54 AM EDT --
An Old Fart:
One evening, a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, . . .
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March 25, 2007 12:25 AM EDT --
An email forward I got...
Enjoy...
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If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!!
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes . . .
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May 07, 2007 09:19 AM EDT --
In my email this morning... Enjoy...
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Retirement Questions and Answers
Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after . . .
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May 17, 2007 09:19 AM EDT --
In my inbox today...
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10 WAYS THE BIBLE WOULD BE DIFFERENT (If Written By College Students)
10. Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning - cold.
9. The Ten Commandments . . .
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May 25, 2007 09:28 AM EDT --
In my email today...
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Doctor: "I see you're over a month late for your appointment. Don't you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention? What's . . .
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September 03, 2007 11:27 PM EDT --
FROM MY INBOX...
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A good piece of chocolate has about 200 calories. As I enjoy two servings per night, and a few more on weekends, I consume 3,500 calories of chocolate . . .
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September 17, 2007 11:17 AM EDT --
From my InBox...
Enjoy...
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On Sunday, the new young pastor arrived at church and found only an old farmer had shown up.
After waiting a while, the disappointed the pastor remarked . . .
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