http://johnphilipphumor.gather.com Recent Articles on Gather by John's Humor en-us Copyright Gather Inc 2009 Sun, 03 Jan 2010 08:54:04 GMT 2010-01-03T08:54:04Z en-us Copyright Gather Inc 2009 http://www.gather.com/images/header/logo_gather.gif http://www.gather.com/ http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977966108&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace It's almost that time of year when we make New Year's resolutions. It is a time when we make apologies for what we haven't done with our lives and make promises to remedy our shortcomings in the . . . Mon, 28 Dec 2009 21:58:30 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977966108&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace John Philipp 2009-12-28T21:58:30Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977948992&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace Disclaimer : Some years ago I wrote a column titled "The Christmas Beard." It was about my habit of growing a beard every Christmas season. In the column I said that besides confirming my . . . Mon, 21 Dec 2009 02:24:30 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977948992&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace John Philipp 2009-12-21T02:24:30Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977944414&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace Strange things happen in hard economic times, things we often miss because we are too occupied trying to keep our houses and our jobs and our high score on "Ridge Racer V" at ArcadeZilla. OK, . . . Mon, 14 Dec 2009 05:11:37 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977944414&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace John Philipp 2009-12-14T05:11:37Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977932295&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace Thanksgiving's long over yet leftovers linger — not only in your fridge but in my notes. I always have more items than I can use in a column and sometimes these items are funny but not something . . . Mon, 07 Dec 2009 04:56:04 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977932295&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace John Philipp 2009-12-07T04:56:04Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977921784&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace As I sat on the sofa recovering from Thanksgiving dinner I started thinking about how once again I found myself in the middle of the holidaze . Do not try this at home — thinking . . . Mon, 30 Nov 2009 04:48:20 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977921784&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace John Philipp 2009-11-30T04:48:20Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977913030&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace Last week I carried a sign. It was a political sign. Not one to end a war or allow or disallow abortions or to legalize California's largest cash crop. The sign I carried had a name on it, a person . . . Mon, 23 Nov 2009 04:52:04 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977913030&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace John Philipp 2009-11-23T04:52:04Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977900335&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace I recently went to my doctor's office for a stress echocardiogram. This is where medical technicians wire you up to a machine acquired at a "Star Trek" going-off-the-air sale and run you to exhaustion . . . Mon, 16 Nov 2009 04:52:25 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977900335&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace John Philipp 2009-11-16T04:52:25Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977890479&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace Diane is a two-bathroom kind of gal. Not two for her, you understand, but two in our house and any place we might rent while on vacation. When there are two bathrooms, one is usually smaller. There . . . Mon, 09 Nov 2009 05:07:33 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977890479&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace John Philipp 2009-11-09T05:07:33Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977879568&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace Everyone dislikes lawyers, even other lawyers. I used to think lawyers were below Bush in popularity because they were sniveling, money-grubbing heartless scavengers who feed off the baser instincts . . . Mon, 02 Nov 2009 13:09:10 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977879568&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace John Philipp 2009-11-02T13:09:10Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977867521&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace History is replete with stories of brave men and women taking up arms and rebelling when government oversteps its bounds. I believe it is time to do that again; this time it's about . . . Mon, 26 Oct 2009 03:46:04 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977867521&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace John Philipp 2009-10-26T03:46:04Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977858250&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace Everyone knows that little girls dress up the poor family cat - over and over and over again. Until recently, dogs seemed to have gained immunity from the costume syndrome. No longer : Here are . . . Fri, 23 Oct 2009 03:54:56 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977858250&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace John Philipp 2009-10-23T03:54:56Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977857666&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace Living next to the Golden Gate National Recreation Area has advantages: beautiful views, pristine nature and an opportunity to interact with the local fauna. When the Park Service sent out the . . . Mon, 19 Oct 2009 03:57:44 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977857666&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace John Philipp 2009-10-19T03:57:44Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977848639&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace Everyone has problems. It's part of the human condition. Life is not designed to be fair (why is another column). So, we do our best to cope with life and yet, as with many other endeavors, we . . . Mon, 12 Oct 2009 03:47:56 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977848639&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace John Philipp 2009-10-12T03:47:56Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977837086&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace Periodically I write a column with questions for you to ponder. I do this as a public service, my small part in reducing the stress and angst in modern-day America.   Philipp's Dictionary . . . Mon, 05 Oct 2009 04:04:31 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977837086&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace John Philipp 2009-10-05T04:04:31Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977818142&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace These are difficult economic times. People are losing their jobs, their houses and that good feeling that comes when you charge a big-screen TV on your credit card in time for the Super Bowl and . . . Mon, 28 Sep 2009 03:53:42 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977818142&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace John Philipp 2009-09-28T03:53:42Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977809192&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace I recently had a medical diagnostic procedure. It was intrusive (one might say, intimately intrusive) — considerable discomfort liberally sprinkled with bolts of pain. By "pain" I . . . Mon, 14 Sep 2009 03:52:06 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977809192&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace John Philipp 2009-09-14T03:52:06Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977802238&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace The bad news : The government has put a price on your head. The good news : The price on your head has gone down in the past five years. You just lost $1 million and it wasn’t . . . Tue, 08 Sep 2009 03:51:18 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977802238&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace John Philipp 2009-09-08T03:51:18Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977797947&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace Rarely do we get all the grandchildren in one place at the same time. Even more rarely do we get them to sit still. This was one of those times at my family's summer house in the Pennsylvania Pocono . . . Fri, 04 Sep 2009 02:39:44 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977797947&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace John Philipp 2009-09-04T02:39:44Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977793537&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace   Every year about this time, 30,000-40,000 well-disguised social anthropologists and their families descend on the sleepy seaside hamlet of Sausalito, California, to observe firsthand the . . . Mon, 31 Aug 2009 04:06:26 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977793537&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace John Philipp 2009-08-31T04:06:26Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977776270&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace Before any trip to an art gallery or museum, it is wise to bone up on your art knowledge. At some point in our education almost all of us took a course in art appreciation, usually at the . . . Mon, 24 Aug 2009 00:00:52 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977776270&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace John Philipp 2009-08-24T00:00:52Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977776247&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace “ The rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated. ” Ma Bell   Once upon a time the telephone system in America was a monopoly, intended as such to facilitate . . . Mon, 17 Aug 2009 03:52:46 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977776247&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace John Philipp 2009-08-17T03:52:46Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977767718&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace … for doing me a big favor and pointing out that I have multiple options for dealing with debt and expenses during economic downswings. According to the news media I may receive . . . Mon, 10 Aug 2009 03:47:05 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977767718&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace John Philipp 2009-08-10T03:47:05Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977760310&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace ( In honor of Lance's returning to the sport Tour de France,  I'm posting post excerpts from an earlier column I wrote about him .) Lance Armstrong has won a record seventh . . . Mon, 03 Aug 2009 04:07:09 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977760310&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace John Philipp 2009-08-03T04:07:09Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977751565&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace "This is not your father's recession." With a major recession well under way it's time to take action to protect your own personal economy while at the same time maintaining Marin County's . . . Mon, 27 Jul 2009 03:53:15 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977751565&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace John Philipp 2009-07-27T03:53:15Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977742313&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace Barak Obama has made alternative energy sources a mainstay of his political platform. This objective is also known in Washington as (breathe in) the Rid Ourselves of Dependence on Foreign Oil . . . Mon, 20 Jul 2009 03:57:59 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977742313&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace John Philipp 2009-07-20T03:57:59Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977734882&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace Irwin Savodnik, a columnist for the Los Angeles Times and a practicing psychiatrist, pointed out that you, dear reader, are probably mentally ill — at least according to the American . . . Mon, 13 Jul 2009 03:57:41 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977734882&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace John Philipp 2009-07-13T03:57:41Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977639695&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace Last week, Diane and I vacationed at her daughter’s house at Stinson beach, a beautiful, three-bedroom home, overlooking a waterway, overlooking Bolinas Lagoon, and underlooking the Marin Headlands. . . . Mon, 06 Jul 2009 03:54:26 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977639695&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace John Philipp 2009-07-06T03:54:26Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977723932&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace July Fourth is just around the corner and that means it's time for the 233 rd Annual Family Argument over what the menu will be. Husbands and wives across the land are drawing recipe lines in the . . . Mon, 29 Jun 2009 03:59:15 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977723932&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace John Philipp 2009-06-29T03:59:15Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977717360&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace Did you ever wonder how life would be different if we named things using the first name of the inventor instead of using last name? The Earl of Sandwich reportedly was the first person who put meat . . . Mon, 22 Jun 2009 04:07:02 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977717360&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace John Philipp 2009-06-22T04:07:02Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977710850&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace We are coming up on five months into Obama's presidency. This is when we find out if he really means to keep his campaign promises. I'm not referring to the economic crisis or what Jon Stewart . . . Mon, 15 Jun 2009 03:36:05 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977710850&grpId=3659174697253282&nav=Groupspace John Philipp 2009-06-15T03:36:05Z