http://jimmydegazz.gather.com Recent Articles on Gather by bill l. en-us Copyright Gather Inc 2009 Fri, 08 Jan 2010 07:04:16 GMT 2010-01-08T07:04:16Z en-us Copyright Gather Inc 2009 http://www.gather.com/images/header/logo_gather.gif http://www.gather.com/ http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977572229 Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.   Here are the glorious winner:    . . . Fri, 23 Jan 2009 12:23:58 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977572229 bill l. 2009-01-23T12:23:58Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977544796 From my almighty e-mail THESE REALLY WORK!!    AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES 1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO . . . Thu, 25 Dec 2008 04:39:19 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977544796 bill l. 2008-12-25T04:39:19Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976909956 ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," . . . Tue, 13 Feb 2007 23:16:35 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976909956 bill l. 2007-02-13T23:16:35Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976899340  Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. Needless to say, his wife was really ticked. She told him, "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes . . . Wed, 31 Jan 2007 04:37:23 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976899340 bill l. 2007-01-31T04:37:23Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976898457 Good morning gather peoplenesses,   I was watching the morning news on a local TV station and the weatherman announces that today is inane answering machine messages day. I thought this would . . . Tue, 30 Jan 2007 12:56:36 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976898457 bill l. 2007-01-30T12:56:36Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976894287  After reading an article by Ina Townsend Young called 'On hating one's name', which was clever and funny, I had disclosed the name my mother would have given me had I been born a . . . Thu, 25 Jan 2007 15:22:39 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976894287 bill l. 2007-01-25T15:22:39Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976894225  I got a gift from a co-worker a while back, a bumper sticker that says, "I'm as confused as a new-born baby in a topless bar."   I have proudly attatched it to my 'Ghetto . . . Thu, 25 Jan 2007 13:41:17 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976894225 bill l. 2007-01-25T13:41:17Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976893031  I can't tell you how many times on any given saturday morning at Warren Lanes in Phillipsburg, N.J., I hear one of my kids tell me they stink at bowling. One of my methods is to get the kid in . . . Wed, 24 Jan 2007 00:14:24 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976893031 bill l. 2007-01-24T00:14:24Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976891713  A lot of kids get discouraged about bowling or any other sport because they think they can't perform up to their own expectations. I am a USBC (United States Bowling Congress) coach and run into . . . Mon, 22 Jan 2007 15:32:04 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976891713 bill l. 2007-01-22T15:32:04Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976891663  I have started a new group called coaching kids. I'd be interested in us sharing our experiences of teachjing our children sports and the methods, advice, drills and motivational tools we use . . . Mon, 22 Jan 2007 14:05:09 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976891663 bill l. 2007-01-22T14:05:09Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976882951    Three mice are sitting in a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are. The first mouse slams a shot of scotch, and pounds the . . . Sat, 13 Jan 2007 19:19:16 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976882951 bill l. 2007-01-13T19:19:16Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976882953  A pirate walks off his ship. He has a wooden leg, a hook for a hand, and a patch over his right eye. He sits down on a bench, and begins throwing peanuts to the seagulls. Two curious young children . . . Fri, 12 Jan 2007 23:48:23 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976882953 bill l. 2007-01-12T23:48:23Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976874892  Lori, the pert and pretty Nurse took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where she worked.  "Doctor, you must help me." she pleaded. "It's gotten so that . . . Sat, 06 Jan 2007 20:10:10 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976874892 bill l. 2007-01-06T20:10:10Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976878272 My mother told me this.....  While they were taking up the collection, John leaned forward and said, "Hey, Marie, how about you and me go to dinner next Friday?"  "Why Yes, John, . . . Sat, 06 Jan 2007 18:23:45 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976878272 bill l. 2007-01-06T18:23:45Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976876735 From an actual trial in London .....  A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus. When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition. . . . Thu, 04 Jan 2007 18:42:37 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976876735 bill l. 2007-01-04T18:42:37Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976874864 A wealthy couple prepared to go out for the evening. The woman of the house gave their butler, Jervis, the night off. She said they would return home very late, and she hoped he would enjoy his evening. . . . Wed, 03 Jan 2007 11:05:11 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976874864 bill l. 2007-01-03T11:05:11Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976869952  Little Johnny and Susie were only 10 years old, but they just knew that they were in love. One day they decided that they wanted to get married, so Johnny went to Susie's father to ask him for . . . Wed, 27 Dec 2006 08:53:17 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976869952 bill l. 2006-12-27T08:53:17Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976869956 I heard this from bro-in-law........   An old lady is rocking away the last of her days on her front porch, reflecting on her long life, when, all of a sudden, a fairy godmother appears in front . . . Tue, 26 Dec 2006 21:53:31 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976869956 bill l. 2006-12-26T21:53:31Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976869349  Merry Christmas all adult humor fans.... I will be closing shop tomorrow but will return with a few good jokes I heard last night at our family Christmas get together. Thank you all for posting to . . . Mon, 25 Dec 2006 03:15:24 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976869349 bill l. 2006-12-25T03:15:24Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976864044    There was this virgin that was going out on a date for the first time and she told her grandmother about it. So, the grandmother says sit here and let me tell you about those young boys. . . . Tue, 19 Dec 2006 02:38:38 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976864044 bill l. 2006-12-19T02:38:38Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976862247  There was a papa mole, a mamma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!" . . . Fri, 15 Dec 2006 03:11:34 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976862247 bill l. 2006-12-15T03:11:34Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976857644   A couple just got married and on the night of their honeymoon before passionate love, the wife tells the husband, "Please be gentile, I'm still a virgin." The husband being shocked, . . . Mon, 11 Dec 2006 01:49:13 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976857644 bill l. 2006-12-11T01:49:13Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976857809  A guy is walking down the street and enters a clock and watch shop. While looking around, he notices a drop dead gorgeous female clerk behind the counter. He walks up to the counter where she is . . . Sat, 09 Dec 2006 23:09:44 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976857809 bill l. 2006-12-09T23:09:44Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976853781  This is why I didn't show up for work yesterday. I was cleaning out my wife's grandpa's cellar and found 12 bottles of his home-bottled grape wine under the steps. My wife told me to . . . Wed, 06 Dec 2006 22:11:31 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976853781 bill l. 2006-12-06T22:11:31Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976853796 A man went to a pet shop and bought a talking parrot. He took the parrot home, and tried to teach the parrot how to say a few things, but instead the parrot just swore at him. After a few hours of trying . . . Tue, 05 Dec 2006 23:18:29 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976853796 bill l. 2006-12-05T23:18:29Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976851032  The pharmacist walks into the store to find a guy leaning heavily  against a wall. He asks the blonde clerk "What's with that guy over  there by the wall?"   The . . . Sat, 02 Dec 2006 12:52:10 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976851032 bill l. 2006-12-02T12:52:10Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976849057 Got this in e-mail folder    A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats . . . Sat, 02 Dec 2006 03:12:42 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976849057 bill l. 2006-12-02T03:12:42Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976849091 Most of you that read the accident article I wrote two weeks ago know the story. For those that don't, please read the first article....  My co-worker finally went home today. I have worked elbow . . . Wed, 29 Nov 2006 00:11:08 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976849091 bill l. 2006-11-29T00:11:08Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976848432  A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop . . . Tue, 28 Nov 2006 12:42:43 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976848432 bill l. 2006-11-28T12:42:43Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976848425  A rabbit one day managed to break free from the laboratory where he had been born and brought up. As he scurried away from the fencing of the compound, he felt grass under his little feet and saw . . . Tue, 28 Nov 2006 03:37:03 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976848425 bill l. 2006-11-28T03:37:03Z