http://jackiepapandrew.gather.com Recent Articles on Gather by Humor by Jackie Papandrew en-us Copyright Gather Inc 2009 Wed, 30 Dec 2009 09:24:21 GMT 2009-12-30T09:24:21Z en-us Copyright Gather Inc 2009 http://www.gather.com/images/header/logo_gather.gif http://www.gather.com/ http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977624315&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace   It has come to my attention that Barbie and I are nearly the same age. She recently celebrated her 50th birthday, and I’m not far from that particular milestone. But I am apparently more upset . . . Sat, 14 Mar 2009 13:25:25 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977624315&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace Jackie Papandrew 2009-03-14T13:25:25Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977429918&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace My all-time favorite commercial is the one from a few years back where a father with an ear-to-ear grin is pushing a shopping cart through a Staples store, gleefully tossing in school supplies as his . . . Mon, 25 Aug 2008 15:16:44 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977429918&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace Jackie Papandrew 2008-08-25T15:16:44Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977391689&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace We are now deeply embroiled in the grilling season, and the gentle man who promised to love me for better or for worse has once again morphed into the General Patton of the barbecue set, a tyrant with . . . Mon, 07 Jul 2008 11:48:56 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977391689&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace Jackie Papandrew 2008-07-07T11:48:56Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977366586&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace   The man who never in his life Has washed the dishes with his wife Or polished up the silver plate - He still is largely celibate. ~Christopher Morley, Washing the . . . Mon, 09 Jun 2008 14:37:35 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977366586&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace Jackie Papandrew 2008-06-09T14:37:35Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977348339&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out -- Rodney   Dangerfield Every once in a while, in a blinding moment of clarity that fortunately doesn't last long, I realize . . . Mon, 19 May 2008 06:03:42 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977348339&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace Jackie Papandrew 2008-05-19T06:03:42Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977343747&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace I was in a public restroom the other day, doing what one does in such places, when I realized that civilization - even the fairly savage form of civilization that has existed since Janet Jackson's . . . Mon, 12 May 2008 11:11:50 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977343747&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace Jackie Papandrew 2008-05-12T11:11:50Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977333715&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace Ever since I can recall, my dad has been telling The Pig Story. He tells it with great flourish and over the years, he's perfected a series of coy pauses and soft smiles, delivered at just the . . . Mon, 28 Apr 2008 11:41:01 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977333715&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace Jackie Papandrew 2008-04-28T11:41:01Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977317740&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace My son recently turned 13, and the last traces of that sweet little boy who thought I hung the moon seem to have vanished. In his place is a strange, slouching creature with a pencil-thin mustache . . . Mon, 14 Apr 2008 14:19:01 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977317740&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace Jackie Papandrew 2008-04-14T14:19:01Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977304126&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace So I come home from work today and straight away I am told to call my mom and then my sister both asap... I did so. He died. My father. The man I never knew. Am I suspose to be upset? I'm . . . Mon, 07 Apr 2008 19:24:16 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977304126&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace meLissa Dawn 2008-04-07T19:24:16Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977303776&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace I'm a big fan of the English. They are highly civilized, rich in culture and history. If only they'd learn to drive correctly and speak the language properly, they'd be a perfect people. . . . Mon, 07 Apr 2008 12:21:34 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977303776&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace Jackie Papandrew 2008-04-07T12:21:34Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977239732&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace In honor of Season  7 of American Idol, here's something I wrote in an earlier season of idol insanity... Now that we are deeply embedded, as a nation, in yet another season of the cultural . . . Fri, 25 Jan 2008 12:45:55 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977239732&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace Jackie Papandrew 2008-01-25T12:45:55Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977255492&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace Now that football season is finally over (YEAH! Oops, did I say that out loud?), it is time for American men to focus on something far more important. It's almost Valentine's Day, fellas - surprisingly, . . . Mon, 11 Feb 2008 12:21:07 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977255492&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace Jackie Papandrew 2008-02-11T12:21:07Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977249111&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace To celebrate the end of football season, I've posted something I wrote back at the beginning of yet another season of insanity...  Anybody who watches three games of football in . . . Mon, 04 Feb 2008 16:31:05 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977249111&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace Jackie Papandrew 2008-02-04T16:31:05Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977226847&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace If the Good Lord had wanted us to eat sensibly this time of year, he wouldn't have invented the cruise ship. It must have been divine compulsion that drove my family and a couple thousand of our . . . Fri, 11 Jan 2008 15:56:28 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977226847&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace Jackie Papandrew 2008-01-11T15:56:28Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977222395&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace I hear tell the road to hell is paved with good intentions And Mama my intentions were the best -- Randy Travis in "Good Intentions" Mark Twain once suggested . . . Mon, 07 Jan 2008 00:30:34 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977222395&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace Jackie Papandrew 2008-01-07T00:30:34Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977213861&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace You know how, when you're a child, and you don't correctly hear the lyrics to a song or the words to some hackneyed cliché that adults are always throwing around? Like the phrase my parents . . . Thu, 27 Dec 2007 23:31:44 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977213861&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace Jackie Papandrew 2007-12-27T23:31:44Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977205263&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace It's funny how one's self-image tends to stay frozen in time. Your mind picks out a moment when you looked your best, sometimes a moment that occurred many moons (and many pounds) ago, and it . . . Mon, 17 Dec 2007 14:33:10 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977205263&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace Jackie Papandrew 2007-12-17T14:33:10Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977199684&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes or bags! And he puzzled three hours, ‘till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t . . . Mon, 10 Dec 2007 16:45:24 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977199684&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace Jackie Papandrew 2007-12-10T16:45:24Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977188371&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace ‘Tis a few weeks 'til Christmas and all through my house Not a gift has been bought, and I’m feeling like a louse.   The dog chewed up the stockings I left . . . Wed, 28 Nov 2007 01:38:03 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977188371&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace Jackie Papandrew 2007-11-28T01:38:03Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977184642&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace Every year about this time, I harvest a new crop of hope that’s been watered by an abundance of denial. I envision a holiday season infused with peace, saturated with a spirit of thankfulness . . . Fri, 23 Nov 2007 14:37:42 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977184642&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace Jackie Papandrew 2007-11-23T14:37:42Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977176194&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace One of the most gratifying things about being a grandparent has got to be those moments when life comes full circle -- when your grown children, those who gave you so much grief as teenagers – . . . Tue, 13 Nov 2007 19:29:21 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977176194&grpId=3659174697250827&nav=Groupspace Jackie Papandrew 2007-11-13T19:29:21Z