http://armyman.gather.com Recent Articles on Gather by Army Man . en-us Copyright Gather Inc 2009 Fri, 08 Jan 2010 03:36:18 GMT 2010-01-08T03:36:18Z en-us Copyright Gather Inc 2009 http://www.gather.com/images/header/logo_gather.gif http://www.gather.com/ http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977685632 Three ladies were talking. One says she got stung by a honey bee and her whole hand swelled up. 2nd lady says she got stung by a bumble bee and her whole arm swole up. 3rd says thats nothing, . . . Mon, 18 May 2009 16:28:10 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977685632 Army Man . 2009-05-18T16:28:10Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977484552 A recruit in boot camp got on the wrong side of the drill instructor and was ordered to do push-ups. As he neared triple digits, an airliner flew overhead. "I bet you wish you were on that plane, . . . Tue, 21 Oct 2008 16:48:49 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977484552 Army Man . 2008-10-21T16:48:49Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977484551 During a re-enlistment interview, the first sergeant asked a soldier if he had considered re-upping in the Army. "I wouldn't re-enlist if you made me a four-star general, gave me a million . . . Tue, 21 Oct 2008 16:46:07 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977484551 Army Man . 2008-10-21T16:46:07Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977451375 A soldier was often away on lengthy tours of duty, leaving his wife to manage five kids by herself. While he was away, the kids used to sneak into their parents room to sleep. So before shipping . . . Wed, 17 Sep 2008 15:18:54 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977451375 Army Man . 2008-09-17T15:18:54Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977451369 I spotted an old friend of mine at the local PX who was a retired sergeant major.  As I approached I noticed that he was continually looking up from his wristwatch. "What are you up to?" . . . Wed, 17 Sep 2008 15:13:09 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977451369 Army Man . 2008-09-17T15:13:09Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977445964 At a tea for officers and their wives, the commanding general of a base delivered a seemingly endless oration. A young lieutenant grumbled to the woman sitting beside him, "What a pompous and unbearable . . . Thu, 11 Sep 2008 11:34:50 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977445964 Army Man . 2008-09-11T11:34:50Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977445962 During a welcome home ceremony, the soldier's co-workers tied yellow ribbons around numerous trees and hung a huge sign that read "We missed you. Thank God the Iraqis did too!" Thu, 11 Sep 2008 11:33:28 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977445962 Army Man . 2008-09-11T11:33:28Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977443156 "Today, gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news," said our platoon sergeant during our morning lineup. "First, the good news. Private Tomkins will be setting the pace on our . . . Mon, 08 Sep 2008 12:08:36 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977443156 Army Man . 2008-09-08T12:08:36Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977443154 A young soldier was learning to parachute. He was given the following instructions: Jump when you are told; count to ten and pull the rip cord. In the event that it doesn't open, pull the second chute . . . Mon, 08 Sep 2008 12:03:58 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977443154 Army Man . 2008-09-08T12:03:58Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977410344 Two Radical Arab Terrorists boarded a flight out of London. One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat... Just before takeoff, a U.S. marine sat down in the aisle seat. . . . Thu, 31 Jul 2008 12:06:27 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977410344 Army Man . 2008-07-31T12:06:27Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977406429 One day when a Marine basic training platoon was preparing for a 10-mile road march in 100-degree weather, the drill instructor drove up in a jeep with a radio mounted in the back. "Who knows . . . Fri, 25 Jul 2008 18:45:02 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977406429 Army Man . 2008-07-25T18:45:02Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977400985 Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy." Hardy: "Aye, aye sir." Nelson: "Hold on, that's not what I dictated to Flags. What's the meaning of this?" Hardy: . . . Fri, 18 Jul 2008 15:24:37 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977400985 Army Man . 2008-07-18T15:24:37Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977398487 Our son is in the Army, stationed in Georgia. He invited my husband and I for a visit. After driving endlessly through unfamiliar streets in search of an entrance to Fort Stewart, my husband suddenly . . . Thu, 17 Jul 2008 18:51:05 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977398487 Army Man . 2008-07-17T18:51:05Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977398498 The term "the whole 9 yards" came from W.W.II fighter pilots in the South Pacific. When arming their airplanes on the ground, the .50 caliber machine gun ammo belts measured exactly 27 feet, . . . Tue, 15 Jul 2008 16:16:58 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977398498 Army Man . 2008-07-15T16:16:58Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977398484 A sergeant was passing the barracks after lights out, when he heard some voices from inside. He slammed open the door, and shouted: Listen, you guys! A few minutes ago, you all heard me say good night. . . . Tue, 15 Jul 2008 16:05:50 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977398484 Army Man . 2008-07-15T16:05:50Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977397811 A soldier, returning to Iraq for the first time since 2003, was impressed by a sociological change. On previous visits he noted that women customarily walked about 5 paces behind their husbands. . . . Mon, 14 Jul 2008 20:03:42 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977397811 Army Man . 2008-07-14T20:03:42Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977393790 A cocky young civilian inspector stopped in front of the storage facility where The Old Gunny was briefing a detail of young Marines. He interrupted The Old Gunny in mid-sentence, saying, "I . . . Wed, 09 Jul 2008 18:40:30 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977393790 Army Man . 2008-07-09T18:40:30Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977392686 The "Old Corps" Marines got together at The Old Gunny's to play poker one night. After about four hours of drinking and playing, "The Top" grabbed his chest and violently slumped . . . Tue, 08 Jul 2008 15:30:36 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977392686 Army Man . 2008-07-08T15:30:36Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977389035 A soldier walked into the ladies department at AAFES and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife." "What type of bra?" . . . Thu, 03 Jul 2008 20:09:00 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977389035 Army Man . 2008-07-03T20:09:00Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977100889 * The F-22 Raptor does not get mad if you do a "touch and go." * The F-22 Raptor does not object to a pre-flight inspection. * The F-22 Raptor comes with a manual to explain its operation. . . . Wed, 02 Jul 2008 19:18:44 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977100889 Army Man . 2008-07-02T19:18:44Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977339335 MARINES: Muscles Are Required Intelligence Not Essential My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment, Sir! My Ass Really Is Navy Equipment Uncle Sams Misguided Children (USMC) U Suckers Missed Christmas . . . Mon, 05 May 2008 22:09:34 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977339335 Army Man . 2008-05-05T22:09:34Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977330691 The U.S. Army has provided an on-line coloring book for your pleasure.  This is not joke, try it out. http://www.army.mil/coolstuff/coloring/index.html Maybe this is an attempt to attract . . . Wed, 23 Apr 2008 22:11:21 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977330691 Army Man . 2008-04-23T22:11:21Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977306910 Navy is playing Army, which has a first down with three minutes left in the half. An Army fan sets off a firecracker, and Navy, thinking it's the end of the half, runs off the field. Three plays later, . . . Mon, 21 Apr 2008 18:06:18 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977306910 Army Man . 2008-04-21T18:06:18Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977304952 Defense Computer A large defense contractor finally succeeded in building a computer able to solve any strategic or tactical problem. Military leaders assembled in front of the new machine and were . . . Wed, 16 Apr 2008 22:17:42 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977304952 Army Man . 2008-04-16T22:17:42Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977304945 MINAS TIRITH (Gondor News Network) - Thousands of peace activists took to the streets of Minas Tirith and other cities of Middle Earth today to protest what they termed a rush to war with Mordor. . . . Mon, 14 Apr 2008 21:15:14 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977304945 Army Man . 2008-04-14T21:15:14Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977304949 West Point Jokes Q: Why do West Point graduates hang their diplomas from the rear view mirror? A: To justify their handicap parking. Q: Do you know why the Army football team should change . . . Thu, 10 Apr 2008 19:09:49 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977304949 Army Man . 2008-04-10T19:09:49Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977304942 Lessons Learned During wars and other operations, the troops often encounter situations for which they have not been properly trained, or are not properly equipped.  In the interests of improving . . . Tue, 08 Apr 2008 16:12:01 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977304942 Army Man . 2008-04-08T16:12:01Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977301837 A sergeant was addressing a squad of 20 and said: "I have a nice easy job for the laziest man here. Put up your hand if you are the laziest." 19 men raised their hands.  Puzzled the . . . Fri, 04 Apr 2008 21:25:00 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977301837 Army Man . 2008-04-04T21:25:00Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977300805 A guy is driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: Talking Dog for Sale He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells . . . Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:08:14 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977300805 Army Man . 2008-04-03T16:08:14Z http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977300022 In preparation for the eventual draw down of forces in Iraq, the U.S. Army has begun planning for the Command Reduction of Army Personnel (CRAP). This process will be implemented in several . . . Wed, 02 Apr 2008 16:48:28 GMT http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977300022 Army Man . 2008-04-02T16:48:28Z